My Beautiful God

I love those experiences (which don't come often enough for me) when I am completely blown away by God, and yesterday I had one while reading my bible. I was reading Hebrews chapter 4, a passage I must have read a hundred times, but still something clicked for me yesterday. In verse 13 we are told "And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account." It is unbelievable to me that there are struggles I have that I am ashamed to tell friends or family about, because I am afraid of what they might think. Yet God, the King of the Universe who gave me physical and eternal life never turns His face away, and somehow I don't have a problem with that. This truth alone hits me like a ton of bricks, but it gets so good as you keep reading in chapter 4. Verses 14-16 go on to say

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I am vile, and disgusting and I very often blatantly betray my Father, without a thought. How can He sympathize for me? He knows first hand what I go through when I am tempted, and wants me to come to him with confidence to receive mercy from him. God is not disgusted with me, He is not annoyed, He is not mad at me. He sympathizes with my plight, because he knows I am weak, and He wants to reach out to me. The One true God is vastly different from the god many people in our culture perceive. He is not sitting far away looking His nose down at us, just waiting for our next wrong move in order to count it against us. No. He invites us to his throne in full confidence that he will lavish upon us mercy and grace. This is my God, the Living God. He owes me nothing, yet gave me everything. I, in return, owe Him everything but have such a difficult time releasing my clinched fists. Oh that this truth would be so ingrained in my heart every day that I would never be bored of it again! That it would never become common to me, rendering me complacent. The Grace of God is something I would like to live the rest of my lifetime on this earth, trying to better understand, for there is nothing more beautiful.